You made me cry and you don't even care
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
