we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
