take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize