I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
