Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
