everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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