home. puking in laundry basket.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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