everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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