I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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