so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
