cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I miss vodka workout Fridays
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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