Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
