I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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