I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
