dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
