you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
