Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
