He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
