I heard we made out
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize