u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Let's paint friendship bongs
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
