Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
