I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The Olympian is in my bed
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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