I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
