sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
