I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
