I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
