Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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