Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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