You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
