she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize