I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
