I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
