You really coming over, don't trick.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize