i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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