you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
