she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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