i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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