he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
my poor anus
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
