I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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