oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
