in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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