ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It was confusing and full of hummus
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
