I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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