i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
