bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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