what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
