i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
operation harelip BJ is a go
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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