i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
