What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
