community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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