Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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