you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
