In the future we'll all be gay
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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