This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
