Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
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