i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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