kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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