I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
