Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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