The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
