STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize