you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
