Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I have aggressive nipples.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
