At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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