Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
